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[OC] Ogonczyk · Joined: 05 Nov 2004 Posts: 20

A traditional corporation. You have two cows. You buy a bull and start a herd.

An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You start marketing them around the world as Cowmon.

A German Corporation: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves .

A Swedish Corporation
You have two cows. One is taking the unemployment benefits, the other one is on maternity leave.

A French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

An Italian Corporation: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Mexican Corporation: You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.

A Brazilian Corporation: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

A Spanish corporation
You have two cows.
You sell them and buy a bull.
You sell tickets to hundreds of people to watch a bunch of guys on
horses stick spears in it and a bloke in stupid clothes waving a towel
in its face until it's knackered and then killing it with a sword.
You buy 2 more bulls with the proceeds and do it again next Saturday.

A British corporation. You have tow cows. Both are mad.

An Irish Corporation
You have two cows
The EU pays you to not sell the milk of the four cows you've told them you have. You complain to the government that you should be paid more
It starts raining. You go to the pub and complain about milk prices.

A .com Corporation
You have two cows.
You don't know how to make money from them but you raise millions in venture capital. You still don't know how to make money from them so instead you have an IPO. You all become millionaires but even then you don't know how to make money from your cows. Your company goes bust.

An EU Corporation
You have two cows
The EU gives you a grant to build a barn for 200 cows
You take an extended siesta and your two cows die
The EU gives you a grant to help you nick everyone else's cows to justify
the original grant for the barn
Your cow-farming neighbours go out of business

An American Enron-style Corporation
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
The public buys your bull.
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"Strategy is the art of making use of time and space. I am less concerned about the latter than the former. Space we can recover, lost time never."
- Napoleon Bonaparte

o0O0o · Joined: 24 Apr 2004 Posts: 97 Location: Wales

LoL Thats good.

Meik · Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 6:45 pm Post subject:

o0O0o you beat axle to it lol.. fun joke, but what is it the second swedish cow does?
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ehm... bleeh?

[HWK]axlethehawk · Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:43 am Post subject:

Damn 0o0ooo00o0o0o0o0o0o0o0, that's it you are here by unOFFICIALLY dismissed from the Diplomatic attorney's office of the Hawks!!...........for superceding your authority and by passing my authority by unauthorised publication of materials replying to such questions within the hawk's forum , before I have carried out my own supreme justice to all the "said questions" laid out here before me and further more............................... Rolling Eyes

Anyways, before I allow myself to become side-tracked by this issue, I'd like to tell Meik, that the 2nd cow is on "Maternity Leave" , which is what women do when they take time off work to have their baby ( Maternity for women and Paternity for men )

Also Oggie, that;s very funny m8.
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[hwk] axlethehawk ( DIPLOMATIC LIAISSON )

[HWK]GeXozoid · Joined: 30 Apr 2004 Posts: 400 Location: Dubrovnik, Croatia

i ve read this a long time ago on a croatian forum, but i did it again, and boy is it funny Razz

LOVE THE RUSSIAN WAY OF WORKIN!
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"Never interrupt your enemy when he is makeing a mistake "

Napoleon Bonaparte

o0O0o · Joined: 24 Apr 2004 Posts: 97 Location: Wales

cmon then axle son wanna fight!, butt?!

[HWK]axlethehawk · Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 11:01 pm Post subject:

ok rhys, my front garden thursday morning bare knuckle fisticuffs . Twisted Evil

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[hwk] axlethehawk ( DIPLOMATIC LIAISSON )

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